The joys of being single

No, seriously. I woke up in a great mood this morning, despite more than usual morning achiness, the bad day of yesterday shaken off. And I experienced one of the great joys of being single this morning -- the ability to make decisions about one's living environment all by oneself. No consulting with others! No arguments! It's just between me and the Lake Monticello Environmental Control Committee. Oh yes, it sounds like it would be concerned about, you know, the environment around the lake but it is actually concerned with exterior home improvements around the lake.

I'm having my house painted! And a new roof installed! Despite the cost, which initially caused more dread than excitement, I am now happy to be making these changes. And despite the sarcasm about the LM ECC in the above paragraph, they like the colors I've chosen and I like the community aesthetic, so we get along pretty well.

The work starts on Monday, weather permitting -- the drought is permitting a lot of building and home improvement, but I *promise* not to be irritated if it ends just in time for my home project -- first the old shingles come off, and the entire outside of the house will be power-washed. I will post before and after pictures (I know what you're thinking, "at last, something to look forward to!") and possibly "during" pictures if they are interesting.

Anyway, I love having everything about my house, both inside and out, being just what I choose.

Poll results: Animals in the house

First off, we seem to have a little trouble with terminology. We are animals, people. Only 60% of you said that you had humans in the house. You're a human! Did I *say* "other humans"?? Ok, enough chiding.

80% of you said that you have one or more dogs, and 60% have one or more cats. 20% said they had one or more other non-human-canine-feline animals (I wonder what they are?). How lovely! For me, sharing my house with animals is what really makes it a home, even if some days I think:

1) I'm outnumbered!
2) Who let the dogs IN?
3) And there are days I go upstairs to hang with the cat, saying "please don't make me go out there with the dogs again!" This feeling always passes.

Yes, I was a cat person for many years before I got my first dog. Sometimes the dog rowdiness can overwhelm me, but not very often -- normally, I love it! But cats are quieter.

Thank you for responding to the poll. Don't forget to check out the new poll, whatever it may turn out to be.

Bad dreams

When I have a bad dream at night, it seems to follow me around all day. I always try to think about it when I wake up, and analyze it, hoping that will neutralize it enough for me to proceed as usual. That often works. But last night I had a dream that was so vivid, and that touched upon such deep fears of mine, that I found myself unable to let go of it. I'll spare you the details, mostly because the dream took a rather disgusting graphic turn, so we'll just skip to the analysis, and it was really a dream about not feeling good enough. That fear that I haven't earned my place at the table, my place in the world. It also hinged upon a real-life dream, which I'm also not going to share, except to say that I ought to have given up on it a long time ago, because it's not going to happen, and that's been clear to everyone except me.

Realizing that a real-life dream is not going to happen and that your subconscious still thinks it's your own fault is a lot of weight to put on a typical day, and this day didn't really hold up under the strain. I just felt kind of blue and am glad to be at home, with the dogs and cat, and not out there in the world. I expect I'll feel better tomorrow, and be able to face the day more effectively and productively.

Thanks for reading!

Animal week, now in its second week

It's not that I have *so* many animals; it's just that I only managed to post about two of them last week. Today I will introduce Max. All the animals have a million nicknames, but Max's are especially silly. Most often I call him Mooshla or Smooshla. Do not ask me why.

Max is a cute little Pomeranian who was found wandering somewhere in southwest Virginia, and then sent to my favorite local animal rescue group, Animal Connections. I had been joking around that, since I had a medium and a large black dog, I now needed a tiny one (as I refuse to go in the other direction and get a Newfoundland). And then I was checking the AC site and the dear mooshla popped up. I went to meet him at his foster home and this is what happened: I sat down in a chair, and he jumped onto my lap and immediately rolled over for belly rubs, gazing into my eyes. How could I fail to be charmed?

The above picture shows him in a rare, contemplative mood. Usually he is playing or performing the traditional dances of Pomerania. Here he is with his girlfriend, Queenie, in the middle of an intense bout of playing:


You can see that he gets quite vicious and eeevil at these times, and some have referred to him as Batdog. Here they are when all the excitement is over:

Max has really made our household complete. He walked in the door and immediately got along with everyone. He is very polite but also full of fun. He will play anytime anyone wants him to. He likes to fetch, which I discovered rather late in our acquaintance, since neither of the other dogs like to. My little friend Jules came to the house one day and threw a ball, which Z & Q ignored, but Max leapt after it and trotted right back with it. Now we try to play fetch every day, since he likes it so much.

Max grins all the time and to look at him is to laugh. Now that the weather is getting cool again, he has taken to sitting on my lap, and snuggling up if I'm lying on the sofa. For some reason his fur smells delightful and when we snuggle up, I feel sure it's good for my heart.

Creative women and authority

Someone posted this NY Times article on a newsgroup of which I'm fond (hint: it has to do with dogs!). It's a little sad to me that young women are still feeling this way, although I certainly empathize:

Midway through lunch one day a young woman asked me if I noticed a difference between the writing of men and the writing of women. The answer is no, but it’s a good question. A writer’s fundamental problem, once her prose is under control, is shaping and understanding her own authority. I’ve often noticed a habit of polite self-negation among my female students, a self-deprecatory way of talking that is meant, I suppose, to help create a sense of shared space, a shared social connection. It sounds like the language of constant apology, and the form I often hear is the sentence that begins, “My problem is ...”

Even though this way of talking is conventional, and perhaps socially placating, it has a way of defining a young writer — a young woman — in negative terms, as if she were basically incapable and always giving offense. You simply cannot pretend that the words you use about yourself have no meaning. Why not, I asked, be as smart and perceptive as you really are? Why not accept what you’re capable of? Why not believe that what you notice matters?

It was inspiring, though, as well -- because it made me want to move forward in life with more confidence and to believe that my vision matters. And so does yours!

A lazy Sunday post

I am sitting at my desk, puttering around on the internet, and came across an article that I realized was probably the most affirming thing I've read in years. I'm not going to tell you what it's about lest that put you off. Go read it, and remember what I always say: there is no right answer.

And when I say I am sitting at my desk, I mean that I have on a huge hooded sweatshirt (that my mortgage broker gave me) and some cozy fleece slippers (that my brother gave me) and I feel warm and happy. It's fall! My favorite season, long in coming this year. Here in Virginia, we usually get a month or more of divinely perfect weather during which neither the a/c nor the heat need to be on. The dogs and I are feeling bouncey!

And I believe I should leave you with a picture:



Ok, two pictures, of two lovely fountains at Maymont (I was having "black and white" week with my camera).

Tagged by a meme!

June from Bye Bye Buy tagged me with a meme -- I'm a real blogger now! So here goes:

Jobs I've had:
1. Babysitter -- I was very popular and made a small fortune at this in high school. One of my families had a grand piano, so I would put the kids to bed as quickly as possible. One mother showed me where the wooden spoon was in case the kids got too rowdy. I didn't go back there.
2. Auctioneer's assistant -- My first full-time summer job, and an exciting one. We did estate auctions. I learned a lot about old glass and spoke with Helen Hayes on the telephone.
3. Child care worker -- My first grown up job, working in an institution for kids who had been removed from their homes by the courts. It was exhausting but very rewarding.
4. Secretary at a food brokerage -- We brokered food. I used a teletype machine. I could have made a fortune suing for sexual harassment, except we had never heard of sexual harassment at the time.

Places I've lived:
1. Lockport, NY, land of my birth
2. Garrison, NY
3. Boston, for college the first time
4. Salt Lake City, where I went as a Mormon and left as a heathen

Food I love:
I think you can see from this list that I am a major gourmet, major!
1. Cake
2. Ice cream
3. Baba ghanoush
4. Doritos -- Cool Ranch! Nothing else will do!

Websites I visit:
1. Chickarina
2. The Happiness Project
3. Reuters Health News
4. Cute Overload

Places I'd rather be:
1. At home -- this is true about 90% of the time.
2. Flying
3. In a pool or hot tub
4. Paris

Movies I love:
1. It's a Wonderful Life (I'm a sap.)
2. Ordinary People (Not a good thing to mention to someone you don't know.)
3. LA Story (I'm a sap.)
4. Chariots of Fire (I like to feel inspired, even though I can't run anymore.)

TV shows I watch:
1. Grey's Anatomy
2. How I Met Your Mother
3. Ugly Betty
4. Dirty Sexy Money (it's not my fault, I'm being compelled to watch it by Peter Krause!)

People I tag:
Don't hate me for this, and don't feel compelled either.
1. Chickarina
2. The Boomer Chronicles
3. Catch Her in the Wry
4. I don't even know anyone else to tag, how sad is that???

Whew, that was exhausting! But I feel that I've undergone some rite of passage.