It's like writer's block, only more ridiculous. Who needs topics? Who needs deep thoughts? Why not just post whatever's going on and be done with it?
The truth is, I'm still feeling a bit blah. And I have mixed feelings, actually I have negative feelings about focusing on my health so much. I want to be able to rise above, to be able to engage with the world even when I don't feel at the top of my game. But I am finding that very hard to do, so then I think I should just wait and things will get better.
I don't think that I should count on things always getting better, though. Everyone's health declines, eventually. I was at physical therapy this morning, and someone there said that he keeps hoping that his health will improve, and he's been hoping that for four years. With chronic conditions, the best one can hope for is to manage them and lead as happy a life as possible. I have a (no longer appropriate) young person's view of illness: wait a while, and it will get better. I think I need to adjust, and not always be waiting for something which may or may not happen. I'm killing time too much of the time.
Luckily, one way that I've always enjoyed spending time still transports me no matter how I feel: reading. I've been reading up a storm, but not always posting about it -- what do I have to say about Suite Francaise that has not already been said much better than I could say it? And sometimes I am reading books that I won't admit to, like mysteries or chick lit. But today I'm off to the library to check out some well-reviewed books that are on my to-read list.
So most of the weekend, I will probably still be resting and reading. Oh, except for the part when I'll be *flying*! My friend is a pilot and is kindly allowing me to accompany him. Talk about rising above!
Reading and flying -- just the right balance for this weekend, I think.
The truth is, I'm still feeling a bit blah. And I have mixed feelings, actually I have negative feelings about focusing on my health so much. I want to be able to rise above, to be able to engage with the world even when I don't feel at the top of my game. But I am finding that very hard to do, so then I think I should just wait and things will get better.
I don't think that I should count on things always getting better, though. Everyone's health declines, eventually. I was at physical therapy this morning, and someone there said that he keeps hoping that his health will improve, and he's been hoping that for four years. With chronic conditions, the best one can hope for is to manage them and lead as happy a life as possible. I have a (no longer appropriate) young person's view of illness: wait a while, and it will get better. I think I need to adjust, and not always be waiting for something which may or may not happen. I'm killing time too much of the time.
Luckily, one way that I've always enjoyed spending time still transports me no matter how I feel: reading. I've been reading up a storm, but not always posting about it -- what do I have to say about Suite Francaise that has not already been said much better than I could say it? And sometimes I am reading books that I won't admit to, like mysteries or chick lit. But today I'm off to the library to check out some well-reviewed books that are on my to-read list.
So most of the weekend, I will probably still be resting and reading. Oh, except for the part when I'll be *flying*! My friend is a pilot and is kindly allowing me to accompany him. Talk about rising above!
Reading and flying -- just the right balance for this weekend, I think.
No comments:
Post a Comment